So, this one is going to be a little sappy. I really love my husband. Stop now if you can’t cope with that.
I’m inspired to write about it today as the result of a something my husband probably saw as insignificant.
I want to preface this anecdote by saying that I believe, in a mutually respectful relationship, you should check with each other before spending large sums of money. Just saying this in case any feminism hackles are raised by the following story. (For the record – my feminism hackles go up VERY easily!)
I want to become a better public speaker.
I am writing a novel about a personal experience. It will be published and then picked up by Reese Witherspoon’s company, Hello Sunshine, and made into a Netflix drama. I will then work to promote it on the speaker’s circuit.
Yes, I talk about my future with that level of certainty. To be clear, I don’t always believe it with utter certainty, but I always speak about it that way. My husband is very used to that.
The problem is: the vision for my destiny changes with alarming frequency. Yet, I speak of each dream with the same level of conviction. I create new websites, study new concepts, read new books, gather new people – all in preparation to fulfill my fabulous vision. Then I have a new dream, abandon the one I was focused on, and move to the next one with absolute confidence – THIS IS THE REAL ONE!
Not once has my husband said, ‘Hang on. What about the other dream?’ He has never said, ‘That might be aiming a little high, don’t you think?’ He never suggests, ‘Maybe you shouldn’t spend money on that website, until you complete the other one you started.’ He is the very definition of a cheerleader. He keeps encouraging me, always excited to share my goal, regardless of past performance.
Today, I messaged him to ask if he thought I should enrol in a two-day public speaking course, called Authentic You. Given that I am earning very little money right now, I wasn’t sure I could justify the expense. With no hesitation he replied.
Do it. When your book goes nuts you will be on the public speaking circuit and this could come in handy.
I love this man. Not because he didn’t complain about me spending money – but because he believes in my current dream as much as I do. He believes in me. He encourages me. He accepts me.
It is only recently that I’ve started to realise how much I need that level of support. I can be pretty flaky at times, moving from one obsession to another. Transitioning between the highs and lows that my mental health issues create. I am a perpetual dreamer.
My husband is much more stable. His moods don’t fluctuate as vastly as mine do. He has stuck with the one industry his whole career. His dreams are eminently more practical than mine.
It’s our balance. Yin / Yang.
I’m under no illusions that our relationship is perfect. The whole opposites attract thing comes with a hefty dose of compromise and frustration at times. But today, I am eternally grateful for it.
Thank you, love.